Adventures in General Surgery

Favorite quotes from my first three weeks of the surgery clerkship

Attending Physician: "What is this?" Pointing to a structure in the heaps of bowel resting partly in the attending's hand, partly in the patients abdomen, and partly on top of the patient's abdomen.
Me: "Is that the appendix?"
AP: (Spoken in strong southern drawl) "Jeffrey, this is not Jeopardy, this is the OR. There is no need to state your answer in the form of a question. What is this?"
Me: "The appendix!" Affirmatively
AP: "That is right!"

Second episode
AP: "What is this?"
Me: "Transversalis fascia"
AP: "Give him a zero!"
Me: "oh, sorry, that is the aponeurosis of the external oblique muscle."
AP: "Correct. Don't apologize to me. You can call your mother and apologize to her. She might appreciate that."

Third episode
AP: (to the scrub nurse) "Scissors to him." "Cut this"
Me: (cut)
AP: "That was too short"
Me: "OK"
30 seconds later
AP: "Cut this"
Me: (cut)
AP: "Too long"
Me: "OK"
60 seconds later
AP: "Cut this"
Me: cut
AP: "Too short"

There are two lengths that a medical student can cut the sutures in a Rochester OR...too short or too long. At least this takes the pressure off of cutting the sutures at the right length.